CHICAGO: After several weeks of deliberation, Lord Conrad Black received the bad news he was not looking forward to hearing. His Lordship has discovered that the stained glass beginner course being taught at the facility where he will be spending the next six and a half years or so is nowhere near as good as the one being taught at Fantasy In Glass Glassworks.It was announced today that Lord Black (or BU0100F as he’s known to the staff at FIG) had enrolled in the Beginner Course at FIG (as taught by Louie or Treece), confident that he would be able to attend. Special arrangements were even made to accelerate the curriculum to accommodate his anticipated trip to a more secure environment in the New Year. Requests from His Lordship for gold-plated Supercutters lubricated with Truffle Oil and grinders filled only with sparkling Evian Rose Water were even being considered by the management, but were items only found in less secure settings. It had also been suggested by Ms. Black that a complete duplicate set of studio tools be provided for his Lordship in England as ‘you can never count on being on the right continent at the time when you need your tools’. Rumours that the razor strop from Lord Black’s purchase of Napoleon Bonaparte’s shaving stand is now being used to sharpen his newly purchased Don Carlos Solingen Steel Lead Knife (available exclusively at Fantasy In Glass) has not yet been verified.
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