Why Mikey Doesn't Write Advice Columns

Dear Mikey,
I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off to work down in the studio. I had just been to Fantasy In Glass and bought a whole pile of fusible glass and was anxious to get down to creating some really cool beer coasters. Leaving my husband upstairs watching the TV as usual. I hadn't been gone more than an hour when my kiln controller started to act erratically, flashing some weird error code thingy, and then just plain conked out and shuddered to a halt.

Now, I was just in the middle of a slow hold period trying a bubble squeeze firing schedule I read about on Brad Walker's Warm Glass site (www.warmglass.com) when I walked upstairs to get my husband's help. Getting upstairs, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with the neighbor making mad monkey love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married since Bullseye added #1215 Striker Pink to their lineup..

When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. Apparently she had fainted when told that Bullseye had more than 200 colours of fusible glass. He'd carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke they chatted about the different annealing rates for Bullseye and Spectrum and one thing just lead to another. She began thanking him for his recipe for a home made overspray using 20 Mule team Borax, and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he gave me some story about worrying about Bullseye's pink kilnwash and how it stains, but finally broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months.

I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Upset in Toronto

Dear Upset in Toronto,
If your kiln controller stopped after showing error codes or erratic temperatures, the source of the problem is probably outside the kiln. Possibilities include a loose electrical wire at the breaker box or the wall outlet, a loose grounding wire in the electric circuit or a phone line that is grounded to the house's electrical system.

I hope this helps.

Mikey