Human Genome Project Finds Mutated Gene That May Explain Baffling Fondness For Stained Glass

ETOBICOKE, ON- As the first phase of the mapping of human DNA comes to a completion, a preliminary draft reveals the discovery of a mutated gene that may explain the baffling popularity of stained glass.
“The loud, repetitive pattern of sound that a Toyo Tap cutter imparts as it glides across a sheet of Spectrum opal seems to trigger a favourable response in the brain that goes counter to our understanding of what we normally consider pleasurable stimulus. We believe it’s caused by a gene mutation we sequenced,” said Zenja Chaboosky, a lowly research assistant at McMuster University involved with the project. The gene theory was met with relief by noted stained glass store owner Mikey in Toronto. “I’ve been puzzled for years. This may finally be the answer,” he said.