Too Much Brevity Lately, Time For Another Mikey Rant

So here I am sitting at the cutting table, clipboard in hand, ready to cut some glass…
Oops, can’t start yet- mail has just arrived. Have to see if my X-ray specs have come in. Nope, just another flyer from our one and only Canadian stained glass supplier (OOCSGS). It’s another flyer full of suggestions and advice from them telling me how I should run my business which brings me to my rant. I’ll quote from a previous issue:
SPECIAL FEATURE
New Business Opportunity for Spring-Summer!
Cabinetry Customers Need Your Glass!
Here Are Our Recommendations On What Pattern Glass To Stock!
They go on to list the most popular styles, which to me seems to indicate that they already know these styles are popular! Every single monthly newsletter from OOCSGS for the past year has been touting the fact that clear textured glass is becoming more popular and we need to order more and sell more.
So what do we do? At least I did- I sent out letters, and solicited businesses, offered free samples, set up accounts and encouraged my cabinet customers to use the glass OOCSGS says I should.
And then I went and cleared extra space in our showroom to make space for larger sheets (don’t need to now- our OOCSGS will cut them down- oh yeah, for a fee- yes, folks, I can’t make this stuff up- I feel like I’m dealing with Rogers Cable), and begin to warehouse some of these styles. I feel I really don’t have to- after all, our OOCSGS will have lots because they already know it’s popular and they want it to be even more so. And as for the ebb and flow of demand, they’ve got staff with over thirty years of experience so they should be on top of their game and have no supply issues, right?
But what if one customer came in and bought it all? Nah, that could never happen- they’ve limited our buying in the past to assure that would never happen so they wouldn’t let someone else do that, right?…
So, anxious to fill an order for one of our largest custom cabinet customers (and one that we’ve held on to for over twenty years), I run out of German New Antique (yeah, it’s on OOCSGS’s list of ones to promote). No problem, I’ll just call in an order to get some…
What’s that? Don’t have any? Won’t be getting any until next month?
So, I lose the account. The resulting drop in income means the bank forecloses on the house, I lose the business, my Ferrari mechanic moves back to Modena, wife and kids leave me (even the dog), thousands of customers dependant upon FIG fruitlessly try to find as good of a supplier, entire stained glass industry suffers (except Bullseye and Gary Brown of course), OOCSGS goes out of business putting their entire staff of (what seems like) 200 out of work, I get a job writing for Mad Magazine (I thought he already worked there... The Missus) and become a healthier and calmer person.
And now you know the rest of the story…