Research In Motion boss Jim Balsillie is known to his friends as a man possessed of smouldering ambition, adroit judgment and an uncanny ability to exploit an opponent's weakness: the hallmarks of an outsider who, as his BlackBerry empire grew, attained legendary status in the business world for helping turn RIM into a company worth nearly $40 billion. But even as his empire continues to grow, Balsillie's failed attempt to buy the Nashville Predators for an astounding US$238 million has raised his frustration level so much so that he has decided to purchase the ‘Diary of a Demented Store Owner’ blog owned and operated by Mikey, President of Fantasy In Glass.
It all started a few days ago; with his name slipping from the headlines and other suitors lining up for a shot at the suddenly desirable Predators, Balsillie found himself frozen out of the NHL. With some free time on his hands, he decided to surf the net and came upon this wondrous website known as fantasyinglass.com. Seeing the ‘Go Here First’ button on the home page he was unable to suppress his curiosity and clicked on through coming upon a fantastic place where only good things happened and the most amazing adventures took place. He was smitten, and spent hours reading about Mikey and his exploits- his find of the ToyoFigus bone in the Neander Valley, the video on the city of Moldopolis and how Spiderman saved the day, even of his account of Conrad Black and the settlement of a recent lawsuit. So many adventures, so many trials and so many tribulations.
Said Basillie, "I think that this site of Mikey’s is capable of being as famous as Google in coming years. Therefore, I am interested in being the owner of this site.” One of his staff, Gary Brownlee "I don't blame him. This site is indeed marvelous and mesmerizing (Gary’s big on alliteration). I think that he has done a good move by trying to buy this site."
Balsillie again," Of course, I would make it more interactive once I own this site. Put in some pictures of Mikey. Also, people will be able to have conversations with each other in a better way and have more to explore. We might even consider buying the entire stained glass industry and make Mikey King of Everything if he would agree to it. Just imagining what Mikey could do as the King of the only stained glass supplier in Canada would make the cost of this purchase more than worth it!”
At press time no response has been forthcoming from Mikey, President of FIG. Apparently the Ferrari dealership closes in another hour…
1 comment:
My cousin, Mr. BrownlEE (emphasis) on the "EE", (They migrated north after that "unfortunate" incident in 1812. Sorry about that.) Sent me a short note lamenting that Mr. Mikey just doesn't seem to understand the concept of "confidentiality agreement". My cousin writes...
"The lack of literal linking logistics with regard to legal legerdemain vis a vis concurrent conversations sans recordings re. Mr. Bastille belies argumentative agreements with possible pejorative outcomes."
Now, truth be told, my cousin was dropped as a small child on his rather roundish noggin (a physical characteristic which oft times has the Brownee (ne. Brown) family referred to as "being topped with a bowling ball"). This rather unfortunate accident has led to dear cousin running off into the depths of unchecked alliteration.
We've tried to temper him by giving him gift certificates to FIG, hoping to teach him an honest trade... but all seems for naught.
Y'r h'mbl & ob't, etc. etc.
Mr. G. Brown (no trailing "EE", if you please)
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