Diary of a Demented Store Owner

Monday, 30 April 2007

Another Deep Thought From Mikey

At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be “Clark Kent, Stained Glass Artist” because you could save money on soldering irons. But then I thought, if a customer saw that I don’t have any soldering irons or electrical plugs in the studio they’d soon realize I was Superman.

Sunday, 29 April 2007

May Sale Now Posted!

Well, the biggest and best sale in our almost 25 year history comes to a definate and final close on Monday at 7PM. It was a huge hit and it's going to be tough to beat it, but Mikey will try his best. Our May Sale can be found here.


Part 4 of Mikey's continuing saga of Swiss Cheesed Glasswerks;
Oh, glorious modern day manifestation of four million years of human DNA's struggle to ascend. From being a mere over-anxious, food hurling, competitive tree dwelling ape… to the artistic, sensitive glass-cutter tool using person that you are; endowed with superior eye/hand coordination. Be proud- celebrate the fact that you are, firstly, a member of a very elite tribe of glassaholics, and secondly, have separated yourself from the masses of mealy minded mediocre glass dead heads who have little sense but to use mass produced machine rolled common cathedral and opalescent glass. Swiss Cheesed be thy savior from mediocrity in glass. (To be continued...)

Saturday, 28 April 2007

We Really Are Trying Our Best

We still have been unable to see any improvement in the Canadian supplier situation (there's only one now)- an on-going concern since last July with little change. While we continue to pursue alternate sources for our supplies (four truckloads in the last three weeks from the States), there are a significant number of items we still depend on getting locally (altho' we're working hard to reduce that too). If you've got stuff on order with us, we apologize. Here's a list of stuff ordered but not received yesterday-
the new Inukshuk GST cluster, cluster #'s SA1A,1B,4,6B,10,11 and 14, 3" x 3" squares, Uroboros 65-951, 3/8" lead, 3/8" U-zinc, Spectrum Clear RW, Clear Baroque and Clear Vecchio, Spectrum Black and White Baroque, Wissmach 135cc and our full allotment of Inland Super Wiz grinders.

Wednesday, 25 April 2007

Jen Ken Kilns Arrive- It's Getting Hot Around Here!

Just in from Florida by way of Traffic Transport- our truckload of kilns. These are without a doubt the best quality kilns available today, and are priced just as economically as those manufactured locally (makes you wonder, eh?). We've got them in several styles with interior dimensions of 15" and 11", and the really cool Chilli Pepper kiln for beadmaking, made out of a toolbox!

Biggest Sale in FIG History About To Come To A Screaching Halt!

Only six shopping days left on our biggest sale ever and then it's over. Forty (40%) percent off all bevel clusters, Spectrum 96F and Bullseye 90F sale squares, all dichroic glass and every single book in the store! Wow!

Thursday, 19 April 2007

Think You Know Eveything?

If you do then don't bother reading any further (like Mikey). If you don't, then consider coming in on Saturday for our Intro to Fusing seminar with Louie the 'I'm not from Barcelona' Instructor. This is a hands-on day (but hands off Louie- the class after all is only $145.00 with $50.00 as a store credit) will teach you everything you'd need to know to explore the world of fusing, the fastest growing segment in glass art and crafts. Bring your hand tools as you will make lots of stuff this day and we'll fire it for you. Class size is limited- four spots left.

Tuesday, 17 April 2007

The Once New But Now Not So Morton Portable Glass Studio

Coming from a studio setting, Mike is more inclined to be happy with a sharp stick, a chunk of board, a piece of rebar and a 40 ouncer of scotch to be able to cut virtually any and all shapes of glass accurately and repetitively. Seeing the price of scotch now with the new Conservative budget he had another look at the Morton jig cutting system and especially the new and updated version and was totally blown away by how well thought out it is and so easy to use. The new version or 'B' model retails for under $115.00. Worth a second look.

Thursday, 12 April 2007

Belinda Stronach Quits Politics, Gets Better Job

Newmarket-Aurora Liberal MP Belinda Stronach is ending her short, yet wild ride in federal politics and returning to her corporate roots as an Assistant Manager at Fantasy In Glass, Canada’s first and still only officially sanctioned stained glass supplier.

The former politician and auto-parts empire heiress was quoted saying "My father is looking to the future, the company is facing important strategic decisions, and the Canadian and global auto sector and economy is in a period of great challenge, but I know that Mikey needs me just as much, if not more," Stronach said in announcing her decision yesterday.
Stronach will keep her seat until the next election, but will immediately begin working nights and Saturdays until then- a move welcomed greatly by Anja as the two women can now share fashion tips and how to access inventory while on a ladder wearing a pleated skirt.

Stronach, whose exit came as little surprise to party insiders, joins nearly a dozen other Liberals who have decided not to seek re-election. Competing stained glass suppliers are expecting an onslaught of applicants.

Stephane Dion expressed disappointment over Stronach leaving, “She will be sorely missed, but I understand her need to help Mikey and Sammy and all those devoted stained glass people.” he was quoted. “Canada is not in the best of shape but I know that she will be best utilized at Fantasy In Glass. I understand Mikey is looking forward to her expertise in replacing all his plastic slotwall hooks with a newer upgraded chromed model.”

"It is certainly something that I am a little bit disappointed, but at the same time I am pleased that she is able to help others in her new role."

The 40-year-old former Magna CEO was perhaps the best-known businesswoman in Canada when she strode onto the federal political scene almost four years ago as a matchmaker between the Canadian Alliance and Progressive Conservatives. In 2004, she ran second to Stephen Harper in the race to lead the newborn Conservative Party. Her relationship with current Foreign Affairs Minister Peter MacKay was soon making headlines before it ended in a blaze of publicity as she crossed the floor to the Liberals.
Stronach returned to the headlines last year after court papers linked her romantically to former Leafs tough guy Tie Domi. Rumours of how she got her new job at Fantasy In Glass, and any romantic involvement with Mikey are probably unfounded.

Wednesday, 11 April 2007

Not Having Enough Fun Reading Mikey's Blog?

Then try this:
1. Remove everything from the Fantasy In Glass address bar, then copy & paste the following into it:
javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI=document.images; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i-DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5; DIS.top=Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5}R++}setInterval('A()',5); void(0);
2. Hit enter

Only Three To The First That Want 'Em!

Reminder- we've got 'em. They are very red. And they're only $599.00...
Except we have three put aside- first come first serve- at..... wait for it.....
$488.88!!! (discounted for cash/debit)

Tuesday, 3 April 2007

A Repeat Notice 'Cuzz It's Soooo Gooood!

Just finished inventory and wow do we have way too much stuff! So, we are having the largest sale in our history! No conditions on the sale- no minimums, pay anyway you like. On all in-stock inventory. See details here!

Current Supply Status From Our Sole Canadian Supplier

A pick-up today by Teenuh at our now one and only Canadian wholesaler- the problem of constant stock outages now becoming less significant to us as Mikey continues to successfully source out alternatives that actually can promise the inventory we need to service you, the customer, who we love and cherish.
We won't bore you with the minutia of the missing (wow, cool alliteration!), but to stave off some of the pending phonecalls again alliteration), here are some of the highlights of what didn't arrive;
no U or C channel leads at around the 1/4" size, still no 3 x 3" square bevels, none of the new Inukshuk bevel clusters they just recently advertised, no cluster # 75 (we needed 32)...

Sunday, 1 April 2007

FIG Exclusive- Swiss Cheesed GlassWerks

Check Your Glass For Holes!
If you're looking for great cutting glass, we suggest you look on the back side of your glass. For holes the size of a dime. Or a 15mm jewel. Lots of them. Because glass that has these holes is a full three decibels louder when being cut. Which may not sound like much. But an increase of three decibels will double the cutability of your glass cutter at its tuning frequency (30 hertz). And reduce what's known as 'cutter wheel excursion'. With resulting added sensitivity your glass cutter requires less pressure to generate force to the glass.
Of course, with this type of glass, there's one thing you'll miss- frustration. Simply, Swiss Cheesed GlassWerks' cathedral glass is unmatched in ease of cutability when compared to glass without holes. It cuts with less pressure and therefore less stress on your cutter wheel. Now remember, this is a science, so there's more here than just drilling holes. Swiss Cheesed GlassWerks' engineers fine tune each sheet of glass for optimum performance and efficient cutability. All of which means that if your glass doesn't have holes you might want to talk to a Swiss Cheesed GlassWerks dealer.And get the hole truth!
Available exclusively at Fantasy In Glass Glassworks, Canada's first and still only officially sanctioned stained glass emporium!

Things Happen

ETOBICOKE, CANADA- According to an unconfirmed report, a thing happened Saturday at Fantasy In Glass, a large, friendly, well stocked stained glass store in Toronto’s west end, though experts say it is still not clear exactly what the thing was. ‘All we know at this time,’ Humber College professor of phenomenology Rudolphp Fishingbacher said, ‘is that some kind of thing happened.’ Ordinary citizens, meanwhile, are struggling to put the whole thing into proper perspective. ‘You don’t expect a thing like this to happen,’ Etobicoke resident, Joe Chase said. ‘Not with the way thing’s have been.’
In a statement published Sunday in the Fantasy In Glass FigLeafLet, owner Mikey urged all stained glass hobbyists to remain calm.