Diary of a Demented Store Owner

Sunday, 21 December 2014

Human Genome Project Finds Mutated Gene That May Explain Baffling Fondness For Stained Glass

TORONTO, ON- As the first phase of the mapping of human DNA comes to a completion, a preliminary draft reveals the discovery of a mutated gene that may explain the baffling popularity of stained glass.
“The loud, repetitive pattern of sound that a Toyo Tap cutter imparts as it glides across a sheet of Spectrum opal seems to trigger a favourable response in the brain that goes counter to our understanding of what we normally consider pleasurable stimulus. We believe it’s caused by a gene mutation we sequenced,” said Zenja Chaboosky, a lowly research assistant at McMuster University involved with the project. 

The gene theory was met with relief by noted stained glass store owner Mikey in Toronto. “I’ve been puzzled for years. This may finally be the answer,” he said. 
Subsequent comments by the staff are best left unsaid...

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Sales Page Update

Our Monthly Sales page is now The Unpredictable and Sporadically Always Changing Sales Page and already Mikey has changed and added stuff- see here (you might need to do a page refresh)...

Yup, Still No Full Line Distributor

... but we seem to be doing just fine. In today comes a truck shipment with 2 skids full of stuff like over 800' in Spectrum Sale Squares, 450' Spectrum Fusibles, hobby came in rolls, all foil sizes and colours, 400' Kokomo art glass, 450' Uroboros art glass and fusible glass, all manner of tools (still looking for that elusive bottle of Scotch- Mike's favourite tool), bevels, frits and powders...

Christmas Gift Idea

Just a quick note- we have a bunch of hand made fused glass pendants from the Brain Injury Association and they are a lousy $10 (tax included).
A great last minute stocking stuffer!

Saturday, 13 December 2014

FigSip Silver Patina Back In Stock!

You've surely noticed that the need for a top-quality Silver Patina has increased dramatically in recent years.
It seems that people are no longer merely satisfied with Black, Copper and Antique Brass Patinas.
As our expectations rise so do our demands for better choice and quality.
That's why FIG Chemicals has developed a Silver Patina for the discriminating connoisseur.
The Fantasy In Glass Silver Patina (or FigSip) is of the highest quality assuring the user of an even, rich shiny silver finish with just one application.
So, when you want that unique, rich look of silver, try FigSip Patina, the choice of professionals.
Available exclusively at your Fantasy In Glass supplier.

(paid advertisement)

Saturday, 6 December 2014

Everything's $1000' Store Goes Out of Business

TORONTO, ON- Citing 'phenomenally poor sales' the retail store Everything's A Thousand Bucks Glass Store filed for bankruptcy protection Monday. 
"When we started, we were really excited about the concept. It was working for the Everything For A Dollar Store, why not try it?" the store's owner Guiseppi Rengia said. 
"You could walk into my store, plunk down a grand and walk out with anything you saw on my shelves. We had it all- from flux brushes to copper foil, from Youghiogheny to Bullseye glass!  Unfortunately the public just never seemed to respond." 
When pressed for reasons for the store's failure, Mr. Rengia was unsure, "It's hard to say. I wouldn't want to speculate but maybe we didn't do good enough of a job marketing ourselves. You know, with stores like Fantasy in Glass and that Mikey, it's a tough industry." 
Rengia said he would eventually like to open a 'more upscale shop, perhaps in the eight to ten thousand dollar range' to fill the space formerly housing his Everything For One Thousand Dollars Stained Glass Store located in the Acme Mall between Tom's Crystal Emporium and Canadian Tire.

Friday, 5 December 2014

Intermediate Students

Some are so clever and talented. Here John shows off his fused piece from Frozen...