Diary of a Demented Store Owner

Monday, 30 March 2009

April 2009 Sale

Running into the local coffee shop the other day, Mikey realized as he ordered his bacon-free turkey and bacon sandwich that the output on the blog has been slipping lately. Apparently he's been searching for a profoundly embarassing picture of Zenia for the last couple of weeks as he puts together the biggest and best Monthly Sale Ever! Long-time Diary readers know that the embarassing picture is required whenever announcing the Monthly Sale.

Sunday, 22 March 2009

The Truth About Einstein

Scientists now admit that Albert Einstein's Theory of Relativity was a fraud, perpetuated by the genius in conjunction with the scientific community, and kept from humanity up until the present. Through dilligent research and unwavering determination, the investigative staff of the Diary of a Demented Store Owner now have documented proof that Einstein's formula was altered and kept secret for years, because it was feared what the consequences might be if the real formula and its source were ever discovered. It's a little known fact that Albert had a younger and supposedly smarter brother, Mikey, who had actually come up with the real Theory of Relativity one late October evening.
Evidence shows that Mikey really was a frustrated stained glass artist who had come up with the historic formula while sketching out a little Teddy bear nite lite for his nephew Gary. While doodling away trying to overcome a mental block on how best to design in the nite lite clip, he decided to take a minute and solve one of the universe's greatest mysteries. This monumental discovery, which contained 'F.I.G.' in the equation, was thought to be so destabilizing to the balance of man's existence, that it was altered. Apparently, it was thought impossible that F.I.G. (an ancronym for an amazing stained glass supply store)
could hold the secret to humanity's existence and happiness. It seems they were wrong.

Sunday, 15 March 2009

Stained Glass Store in Shock! Finds Patina Contains Nothing More Than Just Patina

TORONTO- An analysis of fifty-two brands of patina revealed that they only contain the liquid known as patina. “You’d think for all that money you’d get something else mixed in such as single malt scotch, perfume or even some sort of flavour extract,” said Mikey C. of Fantasy In Glass Glassworks Inc. F.I.G.'s laboratory tested over 600 samples of Novacan and Gauthier's Copper and Black patinas, Inland’s Antique Brass, and even the exciting, new FigSip Silver Patina (available exclusively at Fantasy In Glass) and found only harmful bacteria and other life threatening impurities but nothing that could account for its high price of an average of $3.99 for an eight ounce bottle. Gary Brown,  spokesman for the American Association of Patina Manufacturers, defended the cost by noting that the quality of plastic used for the bottles meets stringent standards. “We believe consumers get a great value with the patinas available on the market today, especially when you compare their present value with products available in past years.

Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Why All the Bullsye Pics and Stuff You Asked?

Well, we just had another major Bullseye shipment arrive at Fantasy In Glass (apparently the neighbours had been complaining again about the lack of good firewood and now rejoice at the quality and quantity of the wooden Bullseye Glass Crates now nestled at the rear of FIG World Headquarters). With all the turmoil of several truck shipments from the States arriving in the same week along with tearing down and rebuilding new glass racks, we've been a little overwhelmed. If you ordered supplies by mail, we apologize for being a little tardier than usual, but are now hopefully back up to speed again. Again, the selection is amazing, the colours stunning and the quality unsurpassable (sorta like Mikey).
This latest shipment includes a bunch of curious fusible glass selected by Sarah from Bullseye Glass and as they are not standard colours we thought this a nice way to show off the uniquenes of this glass by our equally unique customers.
We also got the new Bullseye shelf paper in sheets and as 41"roll, some high powered glass cleaner, marking pens, stringers, Mardi Gras fractures, Bullseye Rods for lampworkers and the usual added selection of frits and powders. Yes, we do love Bullseye!

Sunday, 1 March 2009

March 2009 Monthly Sale

The monthly sale has been a tradition at FIG for quite awhile now. And posting an unflattering picture of Zenia is an integral part of that process. After all, if we can't make fun of the results of our gene pool, who can we we make fun of? Glass manufacturers perhaps? Or maybe suppliers? How about Gary Beige? See my point? Nah, I don't either. In any case, here she is attempting to squash Figimodo our mascot and Sales Page Icon. Go here for this month's sale- it's one of our best...


Contrary to public perception, March actually comes in like a lamb, and out like a goat...