Diary of a Demented Store Owner

Thursday, 28 February 2008

Seminar Status

With over seventy seminars scheduled every year, we (read Mikey) sometimes make mistakes. Student March Breaks change things, snowstorms delay things, Mikey's Birthday (that's right- it is Halloween), etc. so be aware of a bit of a shuffle coming up. If you've already signed up for something, don't worry, Pat will be calling you. If you had your eye on a particular seminar but the date didn't work, check back as it might now be ok.

We've had such a strong response to several seminars we've had to double book some, and have now even added a studio on the second floor. Yes, that's right. We not only have an 1100 ft. lampbase showroom upstairs (where we used to run a cafe), we also have a second area (1400 sq. ft) which has now been pressed into service for Mikey's Poker game, oops, I mean, a second torchroom (amongst other uses).
Some upcoming seminars and dates:
Hands-on Lead- Sat. March 1
Intermediate Flameworking- Sat. March 8
Glass Cutting with Mikey- March 15
Glass Painting with Pebeo- March 15
Fuser's Open Workshop with Pam- Sat. March 29
Jewelry Fusing- April 26

March 2008 Fantasy In Glass Monthly Sale

Or, as the staff here know it as- "It's Post Another Embarassing Picture of Zenia Time". (although it's getting harder to do as she currently away anthropologizing).

Go here for our sales for this month, and take a look two items below for some additional news on our sale for March.

Wednesday, 27 February 2008

Our Infamous Electro-Figtrometer

See our ever attentive staff meticulously running each and every sale square we receive through our own in-house electro-Figtrometer. Used on all our glass shipments to detect and eliminate excess radiation and bad karma, this is one of the many steps we take to assure your safety and protection. Another reason to shop at the World's Greatest Stained Glass Store.
Tomorrow it will be getting quite a workout as we expect a shipment, this time from our one and only Canadian supplier, which will include 1300 Spectrum Glass Sale Squares. Hope Jim Matthews is reading this...

The FIG Monthly Sale For March 2008

We're just getting ready to post our monthly sale for March. The big item for this month is a huge book sale and Mikey thought he might post a little video scan of the over 130 titles we're putting on sale here-

And remember, March comes in like a lamb, and out like a goat...

Friday, 22 February 2008

Our Latest Local Delivery Report- Again Without Editorializing

Today's delivery of a truckload of supplies from our Canadian stained glass supplier;

out of 94 unique items, we received 78 or about 84% of what we ordered- not too bad. They even came back a second time with some inventory. Value of goods not received- over $2200.00. Value of goods not received since last week- almost $5000.00...
I'm not going to say a word....

Thursday, 21 February 2008

Thanks to All of You

Who knew that a bunch of junk could do so much good?

From Day 1 over twenty five years ago, we've raised funds through the selling of our scrap glass and glass crates and donating those proceeds to help Sick Kids Hospital. This particular donation hits a nerve as it is in memory of the son of a personal friend. And for that we thank all of you for your contributions.

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

Something Helpful From Julie the Student

Julie obviously hasn't tripped across any really good sites on the web yet as she found this the other day. She was nice enough to think it might be worth sharing;
this is a foolproof lamp pattern drawer- just feed in the dimensions you want, the number of sides, and out spits a full size pattern!
"Maybe this is old news for the stained glass pro, but as a newby, I thought it was pretty cool. Especially for the mathematically challenged and those of us in Louie's class who are just starting to make lamps now. I figure it gives you a stupid proof outline that you can monkey with to make a bit fancier."
Oh yeah, and Happy Birthday Zenia!
Thanks Julie. Now go find us some really interesting sites (like where to get Viagra real cheap... The Missus).

Saturday, 16 February 2008

Why Mikey Doesn't Write Advice Columns

Dear Mikey,
I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off to work down in the studio. I had just been to Fantasy In Glass and bought a whole pile of fusible glass and was anxious to get down to creating some really cool beer coasters. Leaving my husband upstairs watching the TV as usual. I hadn't been gone more than an hour when my kiln controller started to act erratically, flashing some weird error code thingy, and then just plain conked out and shuddered to a halt.

Now, I was just in the middle of a slow hold period trying a bubble squeeze firing schedule I read about on Brad Walker's Warm Glass site (www.warmglass.com) when I walked upstairs to get my husband's help. Getting upstairs, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with the neighbor making mad monkey love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married since Bullseye added #1215 Striker Pink to their lineup..

When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. Apparently she had fainted when told that Bullseye had more than 200 colours of fusible glass. He'd carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke they chatted about the different annealing rates for Bullseye and Spectrum and one thing just lead to another. She began thanking him for his recipe for a home made overspray using 20 Mule team Borax, and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he gave me some story about worrying about Bullseye's pink kilnwash and how it stains, but finally broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months.

I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?
Upset in Toronto

Dear Upset in Toronto,
If your kiln controller stopped after showing error codes or erratic temperatures, the source of the problem is probably outside the kiln. Possibilities include a loose electrical wire at the breaker box or the wall outlet, a loose grounding wire in the electric circuit or a phone line that is grounded to the house's electrical system.

I hope this helps.


Friday, 15 February 2008

A Strange Day Indeed

So here I am, sitting here in the bar at home, nice cold Schneider Weiss beer in hand (twist of lemon thank you), blues playing on MaxTrax in the background, dog playing with his bone, kids studying in their rooms, the wife in her foxiest outfit (the one with the silk tassles… oh, never mind you sick people- just use your own imagination- this is after all, my blog, not yours!) You get the picture. I’m in sensory overload. It was a strange day today. Yesterday I was relating my problems/concerns (again) about the stained glass supply issue here in Canada. No window glass from our Canadian stained glass supplier! Incomprehensible! Shocking! No Spectrum fusibles (‘the current trend’ they say). So, don’t you know it, here comes another blog entry, and it did come as sure as (put your own analogy here).

Today, sitting in the Ivory Tower (Mikey’s Office) drinking some blended scotch (Ed the Cat’s Single Malt is done, hint, hint, Lani…) I hear the distinctive beep, beep of a delivery truck backing up to our rear door. Yes, it is our supplier making amends for yesterday. Mistakes were rectified, some stock shortages fixed. Birds began to sing and the laughter of children filled the air. Thanks…

Thursday, 14 February 2008

Our Latest Local Delivery Report- This Time Without Editorializing

Thought we'd keep quiet and just let the facts speak for themselves.
Just took delivery of a truckload of supplies from our Canadian stained glass supplier.
Out of 131 unique items, we received 99 or about 3/4 of what we ordered.
Value of goods not received- over $2700.00.
Notable out-of-stocks- 3mm window glass, GNA0189 (two items needed for kitchen cabinet manufacturers), half a dozen Spectrum fusibles, 1/2" zinc H-came, oleic acid flux...

Tuesday, 12 February 2008


Last month, The Fig Blog mistakenly reported that a sudden, completely unpredictable auto accident had crippled Ferrous Man Joe Dinardo, and that an investigatory probe had found the Bambini Bros. completely blameless in the accident. In actuality, these events will take place next week. The Fig Blog regrets the error. This week though, we have yet more free patterns here.

Monday, 11 February 2008

Mikey Makes Something

Tina gets tickets to the Stones concert and decides to go to FIG and make the Stones' lips and tongue logo using some of the new Bullseye fusible glass from the January/2008 shipment. Mikey unknowingly, also comes in, albeit a little later, wanting to do the Guess Who logo but is in danger of his head exploding when he can't figure out what a band named the Guess Who might have as a logo. He decides to put his time to good use and makes heavy breathing phonecalls to his mother-in-law instead. Tina, hearing the heavy breathing, decides the only thing she can do to distract Mikey is to put one of the new free Spectrum Score Magazine patterns on the cutting table, preselect the glass and fill Mikey's cutter up with his favourite truffle oil cutter lube. She chooses the one of the two giraffes and pulls some of Spectrum's very cool Spirit Glass- 6115.7SF Sedona which is an amazing match.
Come on in and see if Mikey really can do this stuff and watch the panel in progress.
For a closer look at this Spectrum Spirit glass go here.

Saturday, 9 February 2008

Valentine's Day

Tina came into the store really excited yesterday, all giddy and animated. She apparently finished off a jigsaw puzzle in six months, and was so excited because the box said '2-4 years'. Now with extra time on her hands she comes up with a great design using stock bevels (pattern and parts for only $8.99). Oh, yeah- she also bought a house...

Thursday, 7 February 2008

Just In Case You're New, We Are Canadian

The internet has a tendency to erase borders, doesn't it? Tired of visiting a site and being unable to figure out where they're from.Probably Americans masquerading as Canadians because we have Neil Young (and not David Crosby), better beer, verandas and chesterfields, Smarties, hockey and we invented basketball, zippers and velcro (wouldn't want all you Americans 'hanging out, eh?!), and Superman (stop me if I'm getting carried away here- oh, you can't 'cuzz I'm Ed the Editor, eh?!) and beer cases with handles big enough to pick up with snow mitts. I know, it's not easy not being Canadian. But that's what we are. Here's a picture of the view out the back of Mikey's house tonight. 

More Barn... I mean More Patterns

There's an old story about Neil Young having Graham Nash up to his farm to listen to tapes of a new CSNY album before its release (you know- the crappy stuff- the good stuff is Neil alone). Neil tells Graham to get into this old rickety row boat and they row out into the middle of this lake. It's dark, and quiet and Graham starts to look around nervously worrying for his safety thinking the worst given Neil's sometimes erratic behaviour. When things start to look really bad, all of a sudden he hears their music wafting over the lake. Apparently Neil had set up speakers at his house as the right channel and across the lake at the barn as the left channel. Suddenly Neil looked upset (Graham got nervous again), picked up a walkie talkie and yelled into it and said "Pete! More barn". I now know what it feels like to be Graham Nash, only its all of you who follow this humble little blog yelling "Mike, more patterns"

Wednesday, 6 February 2008

Thanks Lani!

*Inside joke warning- Lani, I knew posting a picture of 'trappy Alpine mill scenes' would eventually wear you down. 

It's true that values today are very different. Lani is right in her recent blog entry. Being honest, open and playing fair in business is something that becoming increasingly rare today. See Mikey's little blog entry ('Looks Like We've Pissed Somebody Off') for a good example of someone not playing fair (I'd say spineless and small but Mikey told me to turn the other cheek... The Missus)(so she mooned me... Mikey). But, reassuringly, that entry gave us our highest number of comments. It seems that there might be still some who understand the values of which Lani speaks. And hey, we didn't even publish most of them (to protect the writers- no need having this person pissed off at more people- it's a small industry)(and getting smaller it seems lately... The Same Missus).

In case you're all still wondering what the heck this blog entry is about then go here to find out.

Saturday, 2 February 2008

FIG Staff Discover Amazing Truth About Beatle

The investigative staff of Fantasy In Glass' acclaimed journal The FigLeafLet has concrete proof of the demise of Paul McCartney, affirming rumours heard throughout the Sixties. We have secured documentation confirming that he was replaced by an associate- someone with even less talent than the real Paul McCartney (send letters care of Ed, 703 The Queensway, T.O.). Apparently, it was John Lennon's wish to announce the change in the Beatle's lineup with the release of what was to become their last studio recording originally entitled Crabbey Road after Crabbey Hayes, stained glass instructor to the music industry's rock stars. It seems, John along with George, Paul and Ringo had become disillusioned with the Maharishi and his teachings on transcendental meditation, and looked to stained glass in their quest to achieve inner peace, harmony and inspiration. It was during the recording sessions for this album that Paul had met his unfortunate death when a truck's delivery of lead shifted and came crashing through the bathroom window onto Paul while he was indisposed. John wrote 'She Came In Through the Bathroom Window and Carry That Weight in memory of this tragic event. 
With the imminent release of Abbey Road, the need to replace Paul became apparent. Searching no further than their fellow stained glass students a young lad of small frame and poor complexion was chosen, it seems not for his resemblance to Paul, but for his skill at cutting compound angles in flat 1/4" lead. Going by the name of Mikey, his lack of songwriting skills (as Paul) (send letters care of Ed, 703 The Queensway…) were immaterial to the remaining group members.

Friday, 1 February 2008

Another FIG Success Story

"Thanks FIG"

"Before I started buying all my stained glass supplies at Fantasy In Glass, I ate macaroni and cheese and people loathed and shunned me. I was a total loser.

But now, thanks to the friendly folks at FIG, I have a new girlfriend, a numbered Swiss bank account and an impressive collection of Steuben glassware."

Jimmy Savus


I didn't really want to post anything to this blog after the below entry from Monday Jan. 28 (to keep it at the top) because it sure did a heck of a job stirring up some deep seated feelings. Nice to see. Keep 'em coming. We encourage discussion- there doesn't seem to be many other forums where this can be done.

Stained Glass News # 79

Now in- this is a free with any purchase, newspaper format magazine which we've carried from Day 1. While a great source of helpful hints and industry news, even if it sucked we can't complain because it's free. (but it doesn't).