Diary of a Demented Store Owner

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Mikey Dispells Another Urban Myth

"On the first day of my first stained glass course, my instructor attempted to perpetuate the common myth that glass in windows flows over time, that's why glass is thicker at the bottom in church windows."
A few years ago, Edgar Dutra Zanotto published an article in the American Journal of Physics (#66, May 1998) in which he calculates the time it takes for glass to flow. He estimates it will take 100000000000000000000000000000000 (10 to the power of 32) years for the glass to show any noticeable change at normal temperatures.
Oh, by the way, the age of the universe is 10 to the power of 10.

Friday, 24 April 2009

Superman's Secret Identity a Sham

It seems that Superman's secret identity has been a hoax all these years. While Jerry Siegel was writing the back story to this comic book super hero, maintaining that Superman's alter-ego was mild-mannered newspaper reporter Clark Kent, Mikey and the staff at Fantasy In Glass have discovered his true secret identity!
Amazing but true, Superman's alter ego is Al Necrosomethingorother, a meek Latvian retired goat herder and current FIG Intermediate glass student (barely passing by the way...Theresa). And how was his secret discovered? What masterful sleuthing skills did Mikey use to uncover this secret that's eluded society for decades?
Check the photo attached closely for proof.
And if you tell us before May 1, get a permanent Undryupable marker free with any purchase.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

As if coming to Fantasy In Glass wasn't reward enough, we also give you free stuff, like Stained Glass News. Issue #85 is due to be available around the first of May. Here's a preview of what you'll find:

• new items, including: pattern books, pattern CD's, fusing mold release, professional series tools, lighted strip to backlight your projects, bevel clusters, fusible decals, and lots of fusible glass
• reader hints, a reader's workshop and more on "The Readers' Page"
• Randy's Help Desk Randy Wardell—Dealing with Residue on Your Glass
• Mosaics & Stepping Stones Julie Bishop Day—Mosaic Birdhouses and Garden Art
• SGN Classic Column Carolyn Kyle—Design it Your Way
• this issue's Free Pattern: Summer Sunflower
• a page of photos from readers in The Readers' Gallery

Saturday, 18 April 2009

Spectrum's New Persimmon Opalescent

As Spectrum rushes to get a colour selection this millennium somewhere near what Bullseye has already been offering for years, we see another couple dribble out as of late (letters to Ed at fig@fantasyinglass.com).

Very boring copywriter alert ahead:
'Like the earthy orange-hued fruit this glass is named for, Persimmon serves as a lovely reminder of all things Fall – fiery autumn leaves, freshly baked pumpkin pies, a cup of mulled apple cider. Persimmon is ideally suited for southwestern designs, dramatic landscapes, flora & fauna, and just about any art glass design where a rich, warm “spiced” orange hue is desired. Stock # 271-71SF'
We are the first to get this colour in Canada!

Remember, just like Mikey's run-in with Billy Bob Thornton, that whether glass is fusible or not, it can still be used in all your stained glass projects (Billy Bob chose Bullseye's Woodland Brown #0203 for the stomach of a teddy bear).

Coming soon is a Black with a Cord texture, for stained glass and fusing...

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Three Kinda Sorta Maybe Cool New Books Just In

Lava & Cube Lanterns
- includes full-size patterns and instructions for 12 lanterns. Adding the electric to the lantern is made easy with instructions and clear illustrations.

Prairie Miniatures
-panels ranging from 3"x5" to 6"x10", these suncatchers are quick "one afternoon" projects that will add a touch of class to any small space in your home. All but one of the 24 designs are comprised of entirely straight lines making these projects perfect for beginners. All of the projects in Prairie Style Miniatures are shown in full color to help you choose color schemes.

Fused Glass & Wood Wildlife Projects
- what started as a fun way to use the cigar boxes that Don Greene collected has evolved into a book that combines fused glass wildlife patterns with wood settings. Don provides patterns for creating a variety of small fused glass panels that look especially at home when placed into a wooden box lid or wooden frame. You'll find patterns for deer, bear, eagles and rainbow trout, as well as a butterfly, dragonfly and bumblebee. Instructions are included for both creating the fused animals, as well as preparing a wooden box to accept your finished panel. Many of the projects in Fused Glass & Wood Wildlife Projects make great gifts for those "hard-to-shop-for" guys in your life. Cigar boxes easily available at your local cigar store.

Friday, 10 April 2009

Billy “don’t call me a fuser’ Bob Thornton

The latest celebrity hissy-fit occurred just this week at Fantasy In Glass a stained glass and fusing emporium in Toronto.
Thornton- screenwriter, Academy Award winner and stained glass hobbiest had come into the store to buy some supplies and to ask Mikey (the proprietor of said amazing establishment) about some artglass suggestions for a teddy bear nightlight he was planning to make. Mikey however made the mistake of suggesting some Bullseye 0203F Woodland Brown or Spectrum 211-74F Chestnut fusible glass as great colour choices for the bear’s stomach in Thornton’s copper foil project. Things went downhill from there.
“I told your staff not to bring up the topic of fusing to me. That whole Bullseye versus Spectrum thing was what caused me and Angelina to break up! She was the fuser. I only did copper foil. She was a hack. Brad Pitt deserves her. Him and his knowledge of the new Bullseye Reactive glasses. I never understood things like volume control and coefficients and stuff.”
Of course, as fusible glass is suitable for both stained glass and fusing, Mikey innocently and unawaringly had made the faux pas of mentioning these two fusible glasses as good colour choices for Thornton’s stained glass project.
Mikey was repeatedly stonewalled by Thornton, who pretended to not understand what Mikey was saying or ask questions totally unrelated to glass. Mikey persevered undaunted, and asked,”Given that you seem quite passionate about stained glass, would you consider incorporating a fused piece in your work?”

“Would you ask that of Louis Tiffany? Or Lani McGregor? Or even Gary Brown?” he spit back.
Rumours that Billy Bob is planning to give up stained glass for some lame musical career have not been confirmed.

Thursday, 9 April 2009

Fusers Club Reminder

Without any sordid means of enticement Pam had convinced Mikey and Louie of the need for a Fusers' Club, where those so interested can come in one evening a week and experiment and play and learn more curious and unusual techniques all related to fused glass. Done the Fusing 101 or 201 with Louie? Done the Soldering in the Nude With Mikey (yuck! Mikey's Wife, Louie, Joody and every other female human being on this way too small planet) Got too much time on your hands? Then consider Mikey's new Pam's Fusing Club- details available in the store or by phone...

Saturday, 4 April 2009

Easter Store Hours

Unable to suppress his glee at this gem of a pic, Mikey felt, given that the Easter holidays are upon us, this would be a suitable time to share this with all of you.

Oh yeah, we will be closed on Good Friday, April 10, and also on Easter Monday, April 13.

We will be open on Saturday April 11, as usual from 10am to 4pm.

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Business Takeover Shocks Industry

Toronto, ON: It was announced today that Mikey Figgy of Fantasy In Glass (FIG) Glassworks has successfully completed a corporate takeover of Canada’s one and only Canadian Stained Glass Supplier (OOCSGS)! The move into wholesale supplier ownership was something in the planning stages for hours, and one that took deft planning and some financial wrangling.
In an interview with Gary Brown from the Financial News, Mikey revealed some of his plans for the future, “Yup, we got some big plans there coming up! I envision an industry full of love and cooperation. Where Birkenstocks are once again viewed as fashionable. One where everyone will learn to fuse using Bullseye. Where every purchase comes with a complimentary bottle of single malt scotch!”
He continued, “ As a matter of fact, I am so bullish on this industry that I plan to open a second wholesale supplier to compete with myself! Yes, it’s true, as I recognize that competition is important. That way I’ll have to worry about such things as stock outages to avoid the loss of sales to myself. And I’ll be forced to make sure my selection is large and varied enough that people don’t go to my competition, me. As a matter of fact, one of the first things I plan to do is to remove the U.S. dollar surcharge on Canadian goods to make myself more competitive with me.”