TORONTO, ON- Citing 'phenomenally poor sales' the retail store Everything's A Thousand Bucks Glass Store filed for bankruptcy protection Monday. "When we started, we were really excited about the concept. It was working for the Everything For A Dollar Store, why not try it?" the store's owner Guiseppi Rengia said. "You could walk into my store, plunk down a grand and walk out with anything you saw on my shelves. We had it all- from flux brushes to copper foil, from Youghiogheny to Bullseye glass.! Unfortunately the public just never seemed to respond." When pressed for reasons for the store's failure, Mr. Rengia was unsure, "It's hard to say. I wouldn't want to speculate but maybe we didn't do good enough of a job marketing ourselves. You know, with stores like Fantasy in Glass and that Mikey, it's a tough industry." Rengia said he would eventually like to open a 'more upscale shop, perhaps in the eight to ten thousand dollar range' to fill the space formerly housing his Everything For One Thousand Dollars Stained Glass Store located in the Acme Mall between Tom's Crystal Emporium and Canadian Tire.
3 comments:
Heard at a Starbucks "Oh where will I spend my family's bootlegging profits now?" If it weren't for the Apple store and those pesky Bank fees we'd have to, gasp, give it to a charity..
perhaps said store should have added an import tax. Even for stuff made in Canada. It might have lasted a LITTLE longer.
Clearly, Mr. Rengia, your pivotal point of failure was in refusing to honour Canadian Tire money at par. Sad. Did you not get my letter? We all shall have to continue ordering from the world-famous Phatasamy En Gas store instead. Yup.
- Anon Again, naturally.
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