Preliminary chemical test results streaming back from the Mars Curiosity spacecraft that landed on Mars August 5, has brought some shocking revelations. It's been discovered that the Mars environment is much more hospitable to human life than initially thought- one that might allow future colonists to live, work and even do stained glass on the distant planet."We're absolutely over the moon about this news" says Gary Marron, assistant to the fill-in scientist.
Analysis of Martian soil shows a pH level of between 8 and 9 which means that while we can't grow crops such as corn, wheat and rutabagas (Gary's favourite), more significantly, we are now able to manufacture a glass from the sandy soil that is similar in quality to Swiss Cheesed artglass.
This stunning revelation was confirmed when a test utilizing a sample of soil about the size of a sugar cube was mixed with some soda, lime and some of Ed the Cat's cremated ashes brought from Earth. The excellent quality of this glass came as quite a surprise to scientists given that for years it was argued that Martian soil could only sustain production of a lower quality glass such as those from machine rolled manufacturers as Strongarm and Checko.
Further tests are planned in the days to come to see if the coefficient of expansion of this glass can be adjusted to allow colonists the opportunity to make nice shiny fused objects in their spare time...
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