Diary of a Demented Store Owner

Friday, 19 June 2009

Table Top Foiler

Mikey fields his 300th call from customers enquiring about the latest and hopefully greatest new foiling machine- The Table Foiler (FIG retail- $99.99). Now remember- don't shoot the messenger- IT'S STILL NOT AS GOOD AS DOING IT BY HAND! (send letters to Mikey, c/o FIG Inc, 703 The Queenswasy, Toronto, M8Y 1L2) Don't worry, if a really good foiling machine ever comes out Mikey will strip down naked and run through the streets of Toronto proclaiming its virtues to all who care to listen. Still determined to spend your hard earned dollars on tools, then maybe consider Glastar's handfoilers- if you ever saw Mikey's dad, Joe using one, you'd buy stock in the company, he got it working so well! Wanna see proof? Check out Mikey's office (commonly referred to by the staff as The Ivory Tower) and see the results on an Odyssey Water Lilly lamp he made.

1 comment:

FusedLight said...

In spite of Mikey's comments on the superior efficacy of manual foiling, I must say that in my role as Protector of the Mosquito State I find that the Table Foiler is my preferred method. Oft times I find myself sitting across a table from an Evil Adversary at a much greater distance than I can reach with my hands. How, pray tell, am I going to foil my nemesis??? The Table Foiler has ALWAYS come to my rescue. A simple twist on the device and, WOOT!, my adversary is foiled. No fuss, no bother, and the readily available refills mean that I am, without fail, "at the ready" to foil any evil doer that might come south to my clime from the Great White North.

With regards,
G. Brown, Protector, etc etc.