Diary of a Demented Store Owner

Sunday, 28 October 2007

NASA Denies Stained Glass Store On Moon Claim

NASA administrators have strongly denied that there is a stained glass store on the moon. Recent pictures have been circulating on the internet and purport to show the reflection of a long chocolate brown coloured awning with the words 'Stained Glass' inscribed on, it in the helmet visor of astronaut Buzz Aldrin, lending weight to conspiracy theories which suggest that the U.S. space agency faked the 1969 moon landings in order to divert attention from the Vietnam War.
Sceptics have long claimed that photos of the landing show shadows which face in the wrong direction, suggesting that the event was faked by NASA and was staged in and around Toronto, Canada. Conspiracist Gary Brownie has unearthed proof that Fantasy In Glass Glassworks a stained glass emporium of some note, has been based in Toronto for several decades and while out-of-this world, has never been anywhere but Toronto, on The Queensway in Toronto's west end. He claims that two employees who worked there disappeared shortly after in mysterious circumstances and that they have yet to be found.

Said Brownie, "The problem is that stained glass craftspeople are scared to talk about this - too many of their colleagues have been silenced over the years."

Canadian Space Agency sources scoffed and pointed to the timing of the story. "This is malice put about by opponents of the United States' plan for a Lunar Moonbase and a colony on Mars and the revival of lead came in stained glass"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Of course, the REAL proof is the rise in Molson sales at the SAME TIME as the moon landings. What is a major constituent of Molson? Alcohol... that's what. And what can you use alcohol for?? ROCKET FUEL, that's what. Now, who uses a lot of alcohol? Fused glass folks...that's who. "Oh, we we're just using the stuff to clean glass." 50,000 gallons (imperial) to clean glass???

Of course, this begs the question about HOW DID BULLSEYE FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE COMPATIBLE GLASS. Well, Lani SAYS it was research. I've met her...she said that to me IN PERSON. But she smirked when she said it. The TRUTH IS OUT THERE. OK... let's work it out.

A "stained glass" place in a certain Canadian city arranges to pre-stage a depot of alcohol on the moon in connivance with a certain beer manufacturer. In return, secret NASA scientists reveal to the "stained glass" place the secrets of compatible glass that were found in the crashed ALIEN SHIP that is in the part of the moon that is NEVER IN ANY PHOTO. The "stained glass" place passes the secret on to a certain "young" lady in a funky glass establishment in Portland in return for a never-ending supply of glass. Suddenly the Portland gal comes out with compatible glass. Coincidences? No, I don't think so!

Revealed next: how timbits were revealed to the "stained glass" shop on the same journey.

--- a friend